Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
