Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
