you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
