She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Randomize
