its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
