you should give me head with plastic fangs in
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
