Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
