what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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