I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
i came on her dog
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Randomize
