What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
