if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
