you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
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