I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
