Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
