we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
he was CRYING into my vagina
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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