Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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