I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
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