She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
