we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
