All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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