he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Randomize