I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
