Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Randomize
