Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Randomize
