im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Randomize
