But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
You can't just leave with hair like that
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Randomize
