Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Randomize
