Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
