Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
