so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
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