You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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