The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
