Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
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