STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
