Say something about gay babies.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
