so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
