I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
