i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
