Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
