let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Do vagina's smell?
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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