It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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