apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
