i jhust puked up my retainher.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
