Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
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