You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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