No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
