yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Randomize
