I looked at my own cervix.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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