Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Randomize
