ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
my poor anus
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
