Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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